Talk about MIA. Talk about busy. I don't think there's anyone out there that can't relate to making time to work out, making time to prepare meals for yourself, having a family to cook for and spend time with, being a student, working, and last but most CERTAINLY not least ... having your mind to deal with.
Being so aware and conscientiously making calculated decisions about your nutrition and lifestyle, plus the dreaded food-guilt (I will come back to this word I use in my next post) that we all try to avoid, can become a burden. It took me a good couple months after my first two figure competitions to come around a bit on my self-imposed food-guilt. It took me a good 7 mths to really start to have normal thoughts again in relation to my body and my nutrition. Surprisingly, such discipline and the mental game involved with competing can leave you utterly shaken-up post competition.
Luckily enough I've stumbled upon a few WONDERFUL people, blogs, and sites with wonderful stories and inspiration, all dealing with similar issues that I was able to draw off of. I have fortunately been able to get myself in an absolutely better place than I was in about 7 months ago. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this lifestyle, and my worst enemy is certainly still my own mind, but I'm quite more relaxed (without being un-disciplined) and have actually been able to enjoy my life more, without the constant guilt I continued to place on myself in regards to food.
Very few people in America have a HEALTHY relationship with food, which is unfortunate ... but that's another topic for another day. I have visited South America and Europe, and the many cultures that come out of both have multitudes of differences, although one similarity is that their portion sizes are smaller and there isn't the same need and craving to eat GOBS AND GOBS AND GOBS AND SOME MORE FREAKIN' GOBS of fake food, like we do here in North America. I was raised in a family that forced food down your face, and in order to be polite, you ate it all. You weren't excused from the dinner table until you ate all your food. You didn't get desert until you ate all your food. You get it. I've always been insanely active, playing sports my entire life, and I've always been thin, and even at my "heaviest" I was probably only 10ish lbs heavier than a "normal" me, and 15 lbs heavier than the way I feel comfortable in my own skin.
I have gone from one extreme to the other in my mind. As a kid, I was S-K-I-N-N-Y. I'm talking knobby knees and sharp elbows. I wanted so bad to not be the "skinny kid" so I ate and ate and tried so hard to gain weight. I guess the insanely active person I am prevented that from occuring, until I stopped playing sports or being active for about a year after high school ... that of which I talked about in my first blog on here. Down the road a bit, I did modeling ... down the road a bit more, I started competing in physique competitions. And today, my mind is where it always feels I have too much body fat on myself, unless around a competition. I'm fit and healthy and no one would call me fat or overweight in any stretch of the word. That doesn't mean I don't want to have less body fat on me, and it SURELY doesn't mean I don't feel uncomfortable with the extra 3-6 lbs on me.
As I digress ... I have come upon, through more research than I care to admit, wonderful resources and wonderful people, those of which have helped me change my guilty-about-food mindset to a positive, listen-to-my-body and only eat when I'm somewhat hungry, and only until I'm decently full. Never until I'm stuffed, and don't eat if I'm not hungry. Sounds easy enough. And surprisingly, I'm getting pretty darn close to being able to say I can listen to my body and not keep eating even if it tastes SO-DARN-GOOD! Not 100% there yet ... but I feel that 95% is probably more realistic. 100% during prep, 95-98% during the rest of the year that I don't call an off-season since I don't "bulk" and I try to stay pretty much as low body fat as I want all year round.
Why only be happy and comfortable in your skin for a few competitions and weekends every year? I used to think that's what I wanted. It's definitely, absolutely not. I want to be as lean as I'm happy year round. Regardless. And I'm pretty close to achieving that. I'm those last 3 lbs away. And that extra scoop of almond butter or that extra slice of cheese away.
Once you learn to TRULY listen to your body, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve. It sincerely does feel better both inside and out not to feel bloated and stuffed and full of guilt. Eat when you're hungry until you're not completely full. Eat slower. Drink more water. Listen to the signals your body is sending you. We're all powerful beings, in our minds and in our bodies. If we'd only listen...
... we'd see what phenomenal things we can accomplish. I challenge you to start to listen to your body. Tell me what happens, tell me how you feel, tell me what changes, I'd love to hear!
The mind games we play with ourselves can be so detrimental. I've been competing for 5 years, and I still occasionally struggle with food guilt. I've found I do best following a structured diet plan year-round, with built-in, planned treats.
ReplyDeleteGreat job taking the time to learn your body; it's definitely a process!
I have learned that it's really the journey that's important. The goals along the way are important, but if you aren't enjoying the journey (ie: food-guilt) you have to change your plan of attack so it's enjoyable. I'm so glad you've found what works for you! =]
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