What is your Kryptonite?

"Superman has kryptonite. Martian Manhunter has fire. Me? ..." -The Secret of Barry Allen.

What do you have? What is your kryptonite?

"Everyone who achieves success in a great venture, solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They keep going regardless of the obstacles they met." -Clement Stone

There are always going to be bumps in the road, mountains to climb, and puddles to jump over. Everyone has their "kryptonite." As long as you keep focused on the road, your goals, and the beauty that lies ahead, these puddles, bumps, and even the mountains, won't seem so big, and once you've conquered each one of them, they seem even smaller in retrospect.

I've always been hard on myself, always held myself to a high standard, and always been very "high-strung" in regards to my expectations for myself. I have learned over the years that I literally have what could be deemed panic attacks when I feel I've disappointed myself or someone I love, or if I feel I haven't been able to control my thoughts, emotions, or actions exactly how I'd have liked to. I hold myself to extremely high standards ... almost too high. I hold myself to standards of perfection. My boyfriend told me a while back that perfection is unatainable. He said that excellence is attainable, and even harder than perfection, because excellence can be reached, and needs to be worked at daily to keep oneself at such a high standard. Gosh, am I lucky or what?! =] *SMILES thinking about my wonderful man* I digress... I've learned that perfection is an illusion. You can't be perfect, and really, who the heck wants to be perfect, right? We all have our flaws and each of us have our own "kryptonite," and this is why life is so interesting. How I handle myself and my perfectionist standard for myself in life is my kryptonite. I've started to learn to calm myself when I'm disappointed in myself or when I feel out of control of myself (when I realize actions I've done, things I have thought, or emotions I have felt have been subconsciously influenced in a negative way). I feel that everyone can control themselves emotionally, mentally, and physically. I feel the world would be a better place if everyone consciously made the effort to be the good person they want to be, and if I feel I haven't been controlling something I've been thinking or doing, it stressed me out and I have what I deem my panic attack. Sometimes these disappointments are absolutely unwarranted (like food-guilt and such), but other times I feel they're very valid.

Working out, training, eating right, and all of the knowledge I keep striving to learn in relation to all of this, have all led to more self-awareness and have helped me to feel in control of myself and my mind. Knowing where your "weaknesses" lie help you to focus on them and work on them. I know I get stressed and feel panic if I don't feel in control of myself or my situation, or if I feel disappointed in myself or if I feel in some way I disappointed someone I love. When upset, I would get to the point where I couldn't think straight, couldn't keep tears from falling down my face, and basically hyperventilate myself. Not that this has ever happened daily, but it has clearly happened less frequently once I've learned to really take control of my thoughts, learned to relax myself, and learned to take some deep breaths. I owe more than I can imagine to working out. The structure it adds to my life help keeps me focused, preventing my mind from stressing myself out.

Funny enough, after reading all this, you probably won't believe I work in an Emergency Room, and have for almost the past four years. The other day when I was getting a woman settled in and irrigating her laceration, which was extremely deep and jagged, she told me that she couldn't believe how mellow and calm I was while I was triaging her and for working in the ER. I can handle blood, guts, gore, insides falling out, bones broken through the skin, doing CPR compressions on a patient who has overdosed or tried to commit suicide and landed on his face after jumping off a building so each compression squirts blood out of what is left of his face, but what really gets me?? If I feel I haven't lived up to my own expectations of myself. We all have our "kryptonite," don't we? =]

Just keep plugging along. I've made immense leaps and bounds and don't plan on stopping any time soon. I have my boyfriend, working out, and eating clean to thank for helping me help myself get to where I want to be.

Keep pushing yourself ladies, and gents. It's so worth it, you'll get where you want to be, and the journey itself is fantastic! I'd love to hear about each and everyone one of your kryptonite...